I have found that if ten people were given a $100 bill, they would most likely spend it all differently. Why? …Because different people value different things. The deep-rooted beliefs you have about what is desirable and good are your values.
Values grow from your personal experiences and you make choices based on your values. Values are not necessarily right or wrong; they express what is important to you. A major reason why many couples argue about money involves differing values and conflicting goals and often they have a harder time resolving them.
I think most families find there is never enough money, so sooner or later, they argue about how to spend the limited dollars. Interweaving different styles of handling money doesn’t just happen because 2 people love each other. There has to be effective communication, time and effort. What ends up happening is a money talk becomes a money SHOUT!
Couples tend to have different attitudes and values. To one, money may represent power and to another, it may mean security or status. One may be a spender, the other a saver. The concern is not that you always agree about money, but how you disagree and that you come to a suitable compromise.
Talking about money “later” or promising to discuss it “some other time” may never happen. Schedule regular times to discuss your finances, it will keeps you and your co-spender cognizant and can avoid the minor distresses from becoming major problems.
Here’s a tip of when to talk, not after work when you are tired and hungry. Try just before pay day or when bills are due. Choose a place with the least possible distractions. Do not let the television, radio, and phone interfere with your discussion.
Include all of the family (when appropriate) – how many of you never were taught any money skills from your parents? Kids can learn from this process. Allow everyone a chance to express feelings, wants, and needs without interruption or criticism. Family members are more likely to support a decision if they are included in the decision. Next time I will talk more on how to be effective at having the money talk! Love to hear from you on how you handle the money talk with your partner…