Do you believe that people who know what they want are more likely to get what they want? In fact it has been said that if you don’t know what you want, you will end up working for someone who does.
Ever met someone who seemed to have an inner compass that allows them to make decisions and change their circumstances to get closer to what they want?
Why is it so rare then that most are not doing what they love? There are countless goal-setting books on the market and an equal number of goal-setting systems. But what much of this ignores is the plain truth that most people, when you ask them, don’t know what they want. Goal that are beyond a daily to-do list are a foggy concept for most. Some have not made it as far as even using an effective to-do list.
I believe that most of us are drowning in advice and yet most people don’t set goals and this year will pass pretty much like last year. I come across this with almost every client.
If something is not yet done in your life, it comes down to one of two problems: Either you know what you want but don’t know how to get it, or you don’t know what you want. It’s people with the first problem who are writing and reading all the articles and books on success and change. They more or less know what they want but need a tool, technique or advice to help them get it. They also assume the second problem is easy, you just think of it and then go for it. You know and go.
That’s all fine, until you begin talking to people with the second problem. The real problem lies with the second group and they can stay stuck all their life. So many self-help books address and really assume that all you have to do is ‘work out what you want’ or ‘know what you want’ and you can skip to the next step. But what if you don’t? What if you can’t get past step one because nothing you think of seems to ignite your passion?
Can you relate to any of these statements?
You know what you don’t want but struggle to be clear about what you do want.
You could do almost anything but you end up doing almost nothing because you lack the confidence to pick something.
You don’t like where you are but can’t figure out where you should be.
You know you are holding yourself back but you are not sure from what.
You have let others make the bigger decisions about your life; you suspect you might be coasting.
You carry around an undefinable but pressing feeling there is something else for you, if only you could know what it is.
When asked what you want, your mind goes blank or your heart starts racing. It scares you.
You’re facing a big decision and you don’t know what to do, or you have a feeling you might know but are afraid of the answer.
You’re scared of making the changes you know you could be making.
Somehow, you know your life would be different if only you could work out what you wanted.
Well guess what? You have the second problem; you can’t ‘go’ because you don’t ‘know’. Here is a technique that I use with my clients to help get you started. Start with what you don’t want. Chances are that you do spend some time thinking about things you don’t like and don’t want. Some people are really good at this, but if I ask them; “Well then, what do you want?” they can get a bit anxious.
Let’s keep it easy and just start where you are right now and with what you don’t want. Choose something right now that you don’t want in your job, career, future or relationship. Take a piece of paper and write on the left hand side; “What I don’t want.” On the right hand side at the top of the page write; “What do I want, instead?” List all the things that come to mind.
This is a start to help you brainstorm what is really important to you that you don’t have in your life right now. A word of caution; watch out that “HOW” doesn’t creep in and sabotage your dream and give up on the list. Target what you want and “WHY” you want it first, the answers and ‘how’ will come later. Listen to your heart – it knows.
If you would like to book a free one-on-one session with me in regards to getting help in this area of your goals, vision or dreams (or helping to even come up with some!) –
To your success,