What’s the number one thing that my clients tell me that they value…“Freedom!”
And included in that is money freedom. Believe it or not, we are what we habitually hear and say about money, and it directly affects our current relationship to it. Pay attention to what you are saying and hearing at your work, home, and with your friends. When we focus on the negative, we’re sharing our complaints because misery loves company! The by-product; we may find our own language and attitudes are a direct reflection of the collective force we are hanging out with.
Our words have a lot of power that affect our actions; consciously or unconsciously. Are you familiar with the phrase “I can’t afford (……)”? This is the first one that you should take notice of. When we use this phrase, it encourages us to use lack of money as an excuse to not act. Saying “I can’t afford (…)” takes the responsibility away from us and consequently takes our power of choice away.
What you’re doing, what all of us are doing is making choices based on our resources and experience. If you change your words to “I choose not to” or “That’s not a financial priority for me right now.”, then it becomes a choice. When we say “I can’t afford” we shift responsibility to some other entity. We are now a victim, using the phrase as a rationale; it is beyond our control, implying we have nothing to do with it.
Making the effort to use words that assures ownership and responsibility around money is what’s important. Positive language changes our attitude around money …when we hear it often enough.
I encourage my clients to shift their words to say; “I choose not to”, then you are actually consciously making a choice, and not coming from a victim perspective. The truth is that you can afford to live how you want within reason.
If you choose to live in a bigger home (with a large mortgage), then you might not have as much discretionary income to spend on travel, clothes, or vehicles. It doesn’t mean that you can’t afford them; it simply means that you have spent your money elsewhere.
We all make decisions everyday specific to our lifestyle choices. We make them based on our priorities and values and experience. Our decisions reflect what’s important to us.
Here are a couple of tips for you;
Really pay attention to the words you are using. How are you commonly talking about money? What words do you use? Are you consistently telling your kids that you can’t afford this or that? Are you regularly complaining to your friends that you don’t get paid enough? All this does is reinforces a negative financial attitude, and you probably weren’t even aware of that. Next time you hear yourself, catch yourself, and pause before continuing. Think about what you really want to say. Over time you will end up not blurting out before you get started with a negative ‘personal’ financial comment. We are our own worst enemy!
Turn it around and focus on the positive. It’s a habit that you’ve probably had since you can’t remember. The goal is to start talking more positively about money. That can start with being grateful for your paycheck, looking at your bank account as partially full rather than dwindling, and choosing your words carefully around money. I like to tell couples to make it a game, ‘catch’ each other and encourage better language.
If you are at the point where you are ready to permanently change your habits and money mindset, I have a solution that might be the right fit for you.
I have a new workshop called ‘Money Peace’. 90% of solving a problem is realizing there is one. So, if you’ve already admitted that your finances could use some help, you’re already well on your way to success. Whether you’re trying to dig yourself out from a mountain of credit card debt, recover from a recent job loss, or want to leave the job that you have but stay for the security, or simply just want to learn how to stop living pay check to pay check. Maybe it’s time to let go of the mindset that you can think your way out of the problem and figure it out. How long has it been, and maybe you don’t even know what it is that gives you stress when it comes to money. You are not alone, believe me… that’s why I designed these workshops.
It’s important to me to help people like you get the shortcut to everything it took me years (and many thousands of dollars!) to learn. You can be paid doing what you love. You deserve to have lots of time off to enjoy your family, travel, nature, leisure, and the good life. My life’s work is to help you get it! Financial woes are a direct result of a dysfunctional relationship with money. Believe me, I feel you – been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. My super-power is getting you right with money in a feel-good kind of way.
Inside of you is the woman you’re meant to be. I think you know that too. Right now though, the money stuff is getting in the way. Know that you are your most important investment, and if you forget, I promise to remind you.
If you are committed to changing your financial life for the better, this could be the opportunity you’ve been looking for. But I only work in small intimate groups, so you need to contact me immediately before all the spaces in the next sessions are gone.
Here is that link again; “Money Peace” to a life free of money woes and stress!